Have you ever looked at the things happening every day between parents and their kids from another angle? Jake stops playing his drums loudly after his mother enthusiastically compliments his sense of rhythm. At the same time, Danny patiently waits for her mum’s allowance to play with other children in the sandbox. With a warm nod, Danny runs to her friends. Father, who is constantly working on his phone, helps his one-year-old daughter to stand up, and she immediately calms down.

A child must feel attachment after birth to at least one person who will meet the child’s needs and take care of this little bundle of joy. According to attachment theory, deep emotional bonding with somebody is essential to not only a grown-up but a child, too. It’s the first point of the roadmap on how to make their life physically and emotionally healthy.

Psychologist John Bowlby observed that children in childcare centers didn't thrive despite having all the necessary conditions for development. It was the time after World War II when lots of children became parentless. So Bowlby concluded that the problem was in the absence of a primary caregiver. It’s the person children can communicate with, talk about worries, and simply lean on.

Another psychologist, Harry Harlow, continued Bowlby’s studies and experimented on monkeys. He gave one monkey two figures. One was made of cloth and looked like a real adult monkey. The second was a wired figure, which differed from the first one, and held food in the arms. Even though the first monkey figure was holding nothing, all the cubs chose it.

The key lies in the cortisol hormone. If the cortisol level is insufficient, the organism’s systems become slower and less effective. Cortisol hormone is also called stress hormone. If a kid’s needs are not met, a child will be stressed, their immune system will worsen, and it will even have an influence on memory and mindset. This may happen due to the absence of attachment to a certain person.

Furthermore, secure attachment will positively affect the child’s relations in the future. It will be easier for them to empathize and build healthy relationships in adult life. So, the lack of deep bonds could be detrimental for a child.