Consider your failures as life lessons
So, to begin with, it is worth understanding where low confidence comes from. Apart from cases caused by severe injuries, the most popular cause of low self-esteem is simple failure. "I tried to achieve something, but I failed. So, I'm talentless" — this is the thought that most people start with, stepping onto the dark path of low self-esteem. But there's a reason they say: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Everyone falls from time to time. But every time you lie on the ground, you should think about the fact that you survived and didn't crash after all. Therefore, you can try again.
Do not harm yourself with self-sabotaging
The consequence of low self-esteem is often the idea that you are not worthy of better things. In such cases, we engage in what is called self-sabotage, which means deliberate self-harm. People with lack of self-confidence tend to this behavior when they experience personal growth. When they feel improvement, it causes cognitive dissonance in their heads. It's as if their inner saboteur is telling them: "Something is wrong." In other words, in order to balance things out in a way that is more familiar to you, you will engage in toxic relationships, turn to bad habits, and so on. However, just a little self-awareness will help you get out of the hole you've made your comfortable place.
Do not hesitate to turn to a therapist
In today's world, there is no place for the belief that only schizophrenics and weaklings go to psychologists. No, the path of self-awareness, acceptance, and working on your weaknesses is definitely the path of a strong person. It's okay to ask for help. Especially if your low self-esteem is related to deep issues like abuse or childhood traumas. Don’t worry about this process; just consider a psychotherapist as a good friend who always knows how to support you. You’ll find valuable insights about this in our Get Out of Your Own Way summary.
Count to five
Anxiety is a common cause of sudden bouts of low self-esteem. It comes over us like a wave and takes us from normal life into a world of self-loathing and fear. If you’re looking for a simple yet effective solution — try practicing the 5-second rule. When experiencing a sudden wave of anxiety, start counting to five. Then ask yourself a question about the good things in your life. Thinking about pleasant things will help you shift your focus and cope with your lack of confidence. If you want to try this method out, you may find The 5-second rule summary really helpful.
Climb your metaphorical mountain
Sometimes tasks seem to us like high mountains, to the top of which you, small and insignificant, will never climb. You stand at the bottom of those mountains, filled with self-loathing and the desire to give up. But you must take that step forward and start that journey upward. As you climb, you will become less scared and will learn to believe in your abilities. And then you'll just do it. Eventually, you will realize that the mountain is you. You yourself are the tallest mountain you will ever climb. But someday, you will reach the top by being the best version of yourself. Dive into The mountain is you summary for more inspiration.
Low self-esteem doesn't come out of nowhere. Today, we feel pressure from everywhere: social media, which impose unrealistic standards of success and beauty on us. Your anxiety may constantly whisper to you that you are not enough. To fight these thoughts, learn to accept your flaws and mistakes. Don't be afraid to fall off the cliff you are climbing. And when you have fallen, don't be afraid to start climbing again. Let yourself be happy, strong, and confident. Gradually, you’ll be able to leave the lack of self-confidence behind!
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