Mind & Body4 min read

Top ways to become emotionally intelligent

Most people are familiar with the intelligence quotient (IQ) and aim to increase it. Unfortunately, people often overlook the importance of increasing another crucial coefficient, the emotional quotient (EQ).

Top ways to become emotionally intelligent

Emotional intelligence helps cultivate proper relationships with people, accurately interpret and utilize emotions, succeed in endeavors, and accomplish set goals.

Human intellectual abilities are truly insufficient for achieving success. With a high IQ, you may land a dream job. However, low EQ will make it difficult to handle stressful situations where theoretical knowledge doesn't help. As in any aspect of life, balance is crucial. So, let's delve into how to become emotionally intelligent and start practicing what we learn as soon as possible.

Develop emotional intelligence for health

Research shows that people with high emotional intelligence tend to thrive more. Students with well-honed empathy skills achieve more than those with a similar level of IQ. A strong EQ can also prove beneficial in a professional career. Workers who develop their social skills influence others positively.

Emotional intelligence is not only a tool for leading a healthy lifestyle but also excels at handling stress. For example, when faced with challenging situations, blood pressure may rise, creating a risk of a heart attack. Additionally, stress negatively affects your immune system. Studies have shown that people who experience high levels of stress are more susceptible to catching a cold virus than those with lower stress levels.

A man standing in a field of green grass

Grow emotional intelligence through self-dialogue

There are many ways to develop emotional intelligence. Firstly, engage in self-dialogue to increase your self-awareness and self-control. This practice is a valuable exercise for identifying and understanding your emotions.

By analyzing your emotions and their source, you can change your perspective to alleviate anxiety. For instance, you can tell yourself, "Perhaps they didn't assign me this task because I already have a lot on my plate." Such a shift in thinking can help you cease worries about the situation. Look for more examples in the Emotional Intelligence summary.

Don't succumb to emotions

Don't let emotions dictate your actions during conflicts. Sometimes, taking a break and calming down is a wiser way to avoid a negative outcome. In such situations, your heart rate often accelerates, so making logical decisions becomes problematic. Some experts even suggest that couples monitor their pulse during arguments to reduce the likelihood of regrettable actions later on.

When there's a need to criticize someone, strive for clarity, and don't forget to present a viable alternative. If you simply point out a mistake without providing guidance, it may lead to a careless and potentially hurtful comment. If you not only point out the mistake but also propose the correct course of action, you can avoid ambiguity and discomfort.

Crucial Conversations
12 min read

Crucial Conversations

by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler
Summary 9 chapters
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Analyze your negative emotions

Negative emotions exacerbate past traumas. Usually, emotional triggers become chronic issues over time if ignored. There's no need to hold onto pain or run from it. As the author of The Mountain Is You, Brianna Wiest, writes, "Honor your discomfort because it’s trying to tell you something."

Accept yourself as you are, and be confident in your actions. This helps dispel discomfort and the imposed insecurities. Self-dissatisfaction often manifests in behavioral reactions such as avoidance and jealousy. Change your perception of jealousy. By observing people you envy, you can truly understand what you want in life.

A woman with her mouth open and her eyes closed

Listen to the right thoughts

Thoughts driven by fear are typically irrational, aggressive, and evoke panic. It's not worth listening to them because, ultimately, they won't lead you down the path of your dreams. Invasive thoughts create even more obstacles, desensitize you, and make you feel stuck. For example, such thoughts make you worry about what people might say.

Intuitive thoughts are quiet, filled with love, and exist in the present moment. They connect you with people capable of teaching you, providing crucial information, navigating different situations, and supporting you. Intuitive thoughts help you understand and assess your feelings and emotions. Learn more details in The Mountain Is You summary.

Enhance self-awareness

Self-awareness is the desire and ability to understand oneself and how others perceive you. Self-awareness emerged about 150,000 years ago and is often considered essential for human survival and progress. This cognitive leap enabled introspection and empathy, crucial for cooperation with our ancestors.

To succeed on the path to self-awareness, look for insights or "aha" moments. They fuel your development. Here's an example of seven unique insights or pillars of self-awareness. There are values (guiding principles), passions (areas of love and interest), aspirations (desired experiences and achievements), fit (ideal environments for happiness and engagement), patterns (consistent thought, feeling, and behavior tendencies), reactions (manifestations of capabilities), and impact (effect on others).

Insight
15 min read

Insight

by Tasha Eurich
Summary 10 chapters
Read on AdvanceMe

Don't fear being alone with your feelings

Silence is a magical remedy for depression. A few minutes alone with your feelings, and you'll feel changes. Unfortunately, people can't control them, but even the strongest storms eventually subside. Negativity for you is like lightning for the sky, giving it space to strike and scorch with anger until it stops. Humans are conscious beings who know about emotions and that their emergence and end are inevitable.

Changes in emotional energy occur throughout life. People change every second, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, but it's neither good nor bad. Remember, you feel better only by accepting that the world is dynamic.

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Summary 6 chapters
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Don't cling solely to the past

Not all relationships last forever. The end of relationships or simple communication may seem like the end of the world. Being aware of your feelings and emotions is an important step towards letting go of a person. You need to thank them for the time spent together, for the lessons learned, and move on in life, meeting new people along the way.

Forgiveness is not easy; it requires humility and empathy. Don't be afraid to swallow your pride and let go of the negative to fill your life with positive energy. Whatever happens, happens for the best.


So, intellectual abilities are certainly great, but knowledge alone can't help you fully experience this world. Emotional intelligence and leadership go hand in hand, just as emotional intelligence and strong family relationships do. Interpreting everything around you, your emotions, and other people’s emotions will help you find your life’s purpose. You'll be able to learn new information without the fear of making the wrong choice and achieve goals that bring you joy.

Credentials:

  1. Photo by Gabriela Palai from Pexels
  2. Photo by J'Waye Covington on Unsplash
  3. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels
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AdvanceMe Team

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