The most common sexual complaint worldwide is low sexual desire. While many assume sexual response should be automatic and effortless, the reality is far more complex. Actually, between 15 and 31 percent of women suffer from female sexual dysfunction, but this widespread issue remains something we rarely talk about. Let’s figure out what’s causing this problem and what the possible solution is.

One common reason for a decrease in desire levels is stress. Stress directly messes with sexual response through the hormone cortisol. This causes a persistent “fight or flight” state that diverts blood flow away from sexual organs and dampens desire. Depression compounds these effects: women with low desire are far more likely to experience symptoms of depression than those without sexual concerns. This creates a vicious circle where feeling down reduces desire, which in turn makes the mood even worse.

Another culprit is our modern epidemic of multitasking. Since the brain isn’t designed to multitask, every switch between activities comes with a mental cost. How does it dampen our desire? It’s simple. The more we keep trying to juggle multiple things at once, the less present and aware we become. It is practically impossible to savor the intimate moment when your mind is elsewhere.

Whether you realize it or not, cultural attitudes and beliefs also have an influence on your sexuality. For example, many think that sexual desire should be automatic, sparking up on cue, or that aging inevitably diminishes sexuality. Whatever they are, negative or positive, our sex-related beliefs play a crucial role in the quality of our sexual experiences.

All these factors are significant, but this doesn’t mean nothing can be done. Dr. Lori Brotto, a psychologist and the author of this book, recommends looking inward. She states that attention, presence, and stress management serve as powerful tools for enhancing sexual well-being. Desire may be shaped more by how we engage with our experiences than by biology alone, and mindfulness practices can help us explore this.