Wouldn’t life be so much easier if we didn’t feel the need to control everything? Especially when it comes to other people? Mel Robbins began contemplating this question after a particular incident. Her son Oakley was about to have his prom, which he decided to attend just a week before. Oakley didn’t prepare much, and when the day came, Mel learned that he and his friends had no dinner reservation. They were going to cram into a tiny taco place.

When the rain started pouring, Mel grew increasingly worried about what the twenty formally dressed teenagers would do. So, she pulled out her phone and began frantically searching for options. Seeing how agitated Mel was becoming, her daughter Kendall grabbed her arm and calmly told her: “If they want to go to a taco bar for pre-prom, LET THEM.” Mel tried to argue that they would get soaked and that Oakley’s sneakers would get ruined. But Kendall replied: “Let them.”

Mel’s mind quieted. Indeed, why was she so obsessed with taking care of everything when nobody even asked her to? That day, she learned a valuable lesson: sometimes, it's best to step back and let others be. She started saying “Let them” in other situations and saw how freeing it was. We waste so much energy trying to manage everything and everyone, trying to force things to go our way. Instead, we could just say… “Let them.”

This idea is rooted in ancient philosophies, such as Stoicism and Buddhism. Stoic philosophy encourages us to shift focus from others to ourselves. Instead of thinking of what others do or believe, we choose to pull our attention inward. In Buddhism, there’s an idea that resisting reality causes suffering. When you “Let Them,” you accept reality as it is and let go of the need to change it. You detach from the situation, freeing yourself from frustration.

Think of the situations in which you could apply The Let Them Theory. For instance, if a friend declines your invitation to have drinks, let them. Perhaps they would rather be alone now, and there will be a better time for you to catch up. By saying (and believing) that you “let them,” you’re not losing anything. On the contrary, you’re gaining peace of mind and a fresh perspective.