Getting to Yes
5.0
12 min

Getting to Yes

by Bruce Patton, Roger Fisher, William L. Ury

Brief Summary

Negotiations are used in almost every area of our lives, so it’s a crucial skill to master in the modern world. If you want to become a successful negotiator, “Getting to Yes” is a must-read for you.

Key points

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Key idea 1 of 8

Negotiating is what allows us to get what we want. There are many things we negotiate in our daily lives, from getting our kids to go to school without a tantrum to buying a couch for half the price on the Facebook marketplace. Either way, life is much more difficult for you if you don’t know how to negotiate.

There’s a common misconception that during negotiations, a win for one party means a loss for the other. Because of this, many people think that a skilled negotiator is a person who can push their perspective firmly or stall until their counterparty gives in. While that might provide a temporary solution in some cases, it rarely solves the issue. Nowadays, the idea of what is referred to as a wise agreement is becoming more and more recognized. A wise agreement is basically a win-win situation, meaning that both parties satisfy their interests to some extent. It resolves issues in a way that allows everyone’s objectives to be considered, significantly lowering the risk of future conflict.

The modern world is no longer as hierarchical as it used to be. Instead, society has moved onto a more networking model. This means that negotiations are becoming more and more crucial, as just giving orders isn’t effective. Oftentimes, we are simply not in the position to give orders. After all, in the modern world, we rely on hundreds and thousands of people we have no authority or control over. Thus, to get what we want, we must resort to negotiating.

Factors like the rapid spread of the internet, quick innovation, and flatter organizations also play a role in the importance of negotiating. We live in an age characterized as the first human family reunion. Nowadays, for the first time in human history, humanity is interconnected and has access to each other through technology. For the first time ever, all 15,000 different language communities on the planet are aware of each other’s existence.

And what family reunion can go without some quarreling? In the same way, humanity cannot exist without some degree of conflict here or there. That’s exactly why negotiations are important—they help you make your opponent see things from your perspective and, if you’re good at them—allow you to get what you want.

01
Negotiations aren’t about pushing until your opponent gives in
02
Positional bargaining is not an effective strategy
03
Make your opponent aware of the reasoning behind your standpoint
04
Don’t treat your opponent as the problem; work together to solve the issue instead
05
Some negotiators will use psychological tricks against you
06
Use these methods when your opponent has more leverage
07
Learn to separate the substantial problems from personal issues
08
Final summary

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