Don't blame yourself for believing that fixing your relationship with your parents or beating your low self-esteem is needed to become a caring partner or spouse. As noted by psychology professor Kristin Neff, individuals with low self-esteem can love as much as those with high self-esteem.

While solitude is common, some mistakenly associate it with shame. In fact, our minds have these emotions from our ancestors' experiences. Living alone was risky for them, and companionship was crucial for protecting against perilous predators. John Cacioppo, a well-known neuroscientist, explains that shame from loneliness comes from our biology. It triggers even when we live securely in a studio apartment.

Your worth remains unchanged in solitude. Neither low self-esteem nor insecurities affect it. Embracing unhappiness while alone is deemed acceptable. The author draws inspiration from the HBO series *Sex and The City*. She sheds light on the misconception about single women. They are seen as effortlessly switching partners and enjoying constant male attention by choice. Embrace your solitude, allowing yourself to acknowledge and experience sorrow within it.

If you are unhappy while single, you might have heard that you need to improve before dating. Such kind of advice makes it seem like you are single because something is wrong with you, hinting that you're too needy. It implies that you have to fix all your problems first.

However, that doesn't make sense for dating. Renowned psychologist John Gottman studies newlywed couples. He says that an ideal personality is not needed for a successful relationship. The key lies in finding a partner who embraces you in your entirety, quirks and all.

Studies show that partner compatibility is the main predictor of a good relationship. Individuals cannot solve personal issues, and such efforts do not ensure the success of the relationship. What truly matters is mutual understanding, harmonious personalities, and a foundation of support and acceptance within the relationship.