Usually, during such a period, we cannot focus on work, studies, or hobbies as usual, and our lives seem to be turned upside down. It is a fact that when loved ones leave our lives, we feel that it is destroyed. However, this moment can be the beginning of significant changes and development, so the best thing you can do is take care of yourself. We have collected 9 tips and helpful insights to help you in getting over a breakup, improving your life, and loving yourself even more!
1. Recognize what you feel and experience the emotions
What is the best advice on how to feel better? Suffer as much as you can! At first, you may think it's a joke, but in reality, any positive or negative emotion needs to be felt. So first of all, recognize that this breakup has hurt you, and don't deny any emotions it causes you.
There is a model of the “circle of emotions” that a person experiences after a breakup or death of loved ones. It starts with the stage of “denial” and moves to the stage of “anger”. These are the most emotional moments of our separation when we are not guided by rationality. However, over time, these feelings weaken, and the stages of “bargaining” and “depression” eventually turn into “acceptance.” To move forward, it is essential to go through each of these stages.
2. Accept the inevitability of big changes
Humans are naturally attracted to stability and comfort zones, but sometimes situations happen that make you realize that your life will never be the same again. Breakups cause pain, suffering, and anger. However, you have to accept the fact that big changes have come into your life and make a decision to adapt to them. Learn more about this in our Tiny Beautiful Things summary.
What's more, you can channel your grief into something that will help you live it better. It can be art, a hobby, or a large-scale project. The world's most famous artists and leaders have been inspired by moments of happiness and pain that gave them the impetus to go on and make significant changes.
3. Share your feelings with your close ones
For most of us, the hardest thing to do is to live through the pain of breaking up alone. If you feel heartbroken and have difficulty sorting out your thoughts, the best solution is to share them with others. However, remember that you should share such moments with people who can listen to you and support you.
If you feel uncomfortable sharing your emotions with your friends or don't want to burden them, you can consult a psychologist. In modern society, therapy has become a normalized phenomenon that helps thousands of people to understand themselves and live through difficult moments.
4. Remove references to this person from your personal space
Everyone knows those feelings when, after breaking up, you suddenly come across a photo of you together, a thing that person gave you, or a song that you loved to listen to together... Such moments not only evoke a wave of nostalgia but also make us feel the pain of separation. And sometimes we watch videos of us together and feel even worse.
In order to make the period after the breakup or divorce as easy as possible, you need to remove references to this person, including their personal belongings, from your space. Delete shared photos and videos. Try to avoid places where you often went out together, and do not wear the things they gave you. This will help you start your life from scratch faster.
5. Cut off any contact with this person if possible
Getting rid of things that remind you of the person is an effective way to think about them less. However, this won’t be effective if you keep in contact with the person who makes you even more depressed over a breakup. It is not easy to stop communicating with someone who has been at the center of your life for a long time. Moreover, it is not always possible to do so.
If you and your ex-partner work or study at the same place, and have many mutual friends, then it is unlikely that you will be able to reduce communication to zero. However, this does not mean that you cannot try to minimize this contact. The last but most effective thing you can do in this situation is to stop personal dialogue and correspondence with this person.
6. Use this period to better understand yourself
Most of us perceive the breakup period as a test of fate, but what if it is a “gift” from fate? It can be compared to a complete reset, and you can use this time to rethink yourself and your life, stop doing something, or start something new.
You don't have to cut off your hair or drastically change your style, as is popularly done after breakups in books and movies. Dedicate this time to yourself and your dreams. If you've ever wanted to go to the mountains, maybe it's time to plan a trip. Did you want to try yourself in a new professional field? Don't wait any longer!
7. Focus on building new self-love habits
After a breakup, it seems that the most valuable feeling in our lives has disappeared — love. But remember that love doesn’t depend on whether other people give it to us because we can give it to ourselves! To do this, focus on creating and maintaining a self-love set of habits that make you happier.
For example, one of the best habits you can do to take care of yourself is meditation. You don't have to be a master of this practice to make it part of your daily routine. You can take 10 minutes in the morning to close your eyes, sit in a comfortable position, and get away from all your thoughts. Read more about loving yourself in our Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It summary.
8. Forgive and let go of the past
New hobbies, job, hairstyle... All these efforts will have an impact, but they won't matter much unless you let go of the past. Of course, you need to fully experience the full range of feelings after a breakup. Still, this process can be delayed if you hold on to past hurts and memories, not allowing new opportunities to appear in your life.
Recognize that what happened in the past is no longer a part of you and your present. Once you have lived through the cycles of grief, the best thing to do is to forgive, let go, and start moving on. This is how we not only open the door to the new but also heal ourselves.
9. Recognize that you deserve the best and true love is still ahead
No matter how strong your love is, you shouldn't be disappointed and lose hope of meeting your soul mate. Of course, it may not happen right away, and it takes time and patience to build a new good relationship with another person. But once you build a new version of yourself, people will appear in your life who are aligned with your vision and values and with whom you can build a deep connection.
The path to change should begin with recognizing your self-worth. Learn from your past and analyze your relationship problems but make a decision to work on your value. Understand that you deserve the best, and after this realization, it will become easier for you to choose those people who will make you happy. Read how to do this in our He's Just Not That Into You summary.
Breaking up with someone you love is a painful stage in every person's life, but in addition to suffering and grief, it can also be the opportunity to get to know yourself better and become a better version of yourself. We hope that our tips and insights will be useful to you. Remember that when one door of happiness closes, another one opens!
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