Personal Development3 min read

How to improve your self-confidence: Tips from the best self-help books

In today's world, where social networks and various media constantly remind us of beauty standards, success, and achievements, the issue of self-esteem is becoming more and more important. Self-esteem is not a static indicator, but a complex process that can be improved and developed.

How to improve your self-confidence: Tips from the best self-help books

Increasing self-esteem requires awareness of one's own strengths and skills, as well as working on one's beliefs and self-perception. In this article, we will look at some effective strategies that will help each of us feel more confident and satisfied with our lives. So, how can you improve your self-confidence?

Only you can improve your self-esteem

The process of increasing your self-esteem depends on you alone. Focus on your strengths and achievements, and on the changes you want to make in yourself. For example, keeping a success journal where you record your achievements can help you increase self-esteem.

Stick to a positive way of thinking and avoid self-criticism. Try to replace negative thoughts with positive and supportive ones. For example, instead of thinking, "I can't do anything," tell yourself, "I will try and do my best."

The Confidence Code
10 min read

The Confidence Code

by Katty Kay, Claire Shipman
Summary 8 chapters
Read on AdvanceMe

Don't trust your inner enemy

The inner critic can often be the biggest obstacle to improving self-esteem. Practice self-observation and identify negative thoughts about yourself. Develop positive thinking skills by replacing those thoughts with supportive and motivating ones. For example, if your inner voice tells you that you don't deserve success, remind yourself of your accomplishments and strengths instead.

Develop self-care and self-support skills. Find ways to balance negative thoughts, such as by practicing meditation or making regular positive affirmations. This will help you become more objective and calm about yourself. This is how you can build self-esteem.

Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies
13 min read

Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies

by Tara Schuster
Summary 9 chapters
Read on AdvanceMe

Choose your surroundings carefully

The environment you are in can have a significant impact on building confidence. Surround yourself with people who support you, believe in you, and inspire you to reach your full potential. Remove from your life those who destroy your self-belief or spread negativity.

Learn to separate yourself from other people's thoughts and actions. Understand that your self-esteem should not depend on what others think of you. Give preference to constructive criticism and positive influence, but don't let other people's opinions define your self-worth.

A woman looking at her reflection in a mirror

Take responsibility for your life

Self-esteem largely depends on your willingness to take responsibility for your actions and their results. Remember that you have control over your life and the ability to influence your own circumstances. Work on a goal setting and action plan that will help you succeed.

Avoid blaming yourself or others for your failures. Instead, look for opportunities to improve and grow. Practice reflection to understand what can be done better in the future and act accordingly. More about that you can read in our The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k summary.

Focus on progress, not failure

Focus on your personal development and progress, not on what you are failing at. Set small goals and steps towards achieving them, and celebrate each small success. For example, if you're trying to improve your skills at work, set weekly goals and reward yourself for achieving them.

Learn to reframe your failures as opportunities for improvement. Instead of seeing failure as an end, see it as a temporary roadblock to success. For example, if you make a mistake at work, instead of blaming yourself, do an analysis and find out what steps you need to take to avoid it in the future. Every mistake is a powerful confidence booster. Take lessons from them and move on, keeping faith in yourself and your abilities.

Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on it
6 min read

Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on it

by Kamal Ravikant
Summary 5 chapters
Read on AdvanceMe

Accept yourself completely

In order to boost your self-worth, the most important step is accepting yourself as you are. Consider your strengths and accomplishments, but also accept your flaws and mistakes as an integral part of your story. Remember that no one is perfect, and it is your uniqueness that makes you special.

Work on developing self-awareness and self-understanding. Focus on better understanding your needs, wants, and values, and act accordingly. Practice self-support and self-love to feel comfortable in your own skin and appreciate yourself for who you are. You can learn about it more fluently in our Radical Acceptance summary.


Increasing self-esteem is an essential aspect of personal development that can positively impact all areas of life. Learning a number of strategies, such as accepting yourself, taking responsibility for your life, and focusing on progress, can help each of us feel more confident and fulfilled. It is important to remember that self-esteem is a process that requires time, patience, and constant practice.

No matter what difficulties we have faced, each of us has the potential to develop and build our self-belief. It is when we accept ourselves with all our strengths and weaknesses that we can begin to feel complete and confident. Let these strategies be a step in your personal growth and help you find harmony and balance in your own life.

Credentials:

  1. Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash
  2. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels
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