Our modern society is focused on unrealistic positive expectations: everyone wants to be stronger, smarter, healthier, and ultimately happier. This is especially facilitated by modern social networks. Scrolling through the feed on Facebook or Instagram, we see perfect pictures. We read stories about how a sixteen-year-old boy learned nine languages and a young businessman became a millionaire and lives a luxurious life. Meanwhile, we sit on the couch in front of the TV and don't know what we want at all.

Sometimes, we hate our negative thoughts. Let's say you have anger issues, and you think, "Oh my God! I have an anger issue, and I can't control my emotions! What a loser I am!" And then you start beating yourself up for thinking you're a failure. This paradox is called The Feedback Loop from Hell.

In our culture, any negative experience is perceived as something unequivocally bad. Wanting a positive experience actually feels like a negative experience. Thus, accepting a negative experience is a positive experience. But let's take a closer look at it. When we constantly strive to be happier, richer, and healthier, we focus on things we don't have. And when we make mistakes and failures, on the contrary, we grow and improve.

So what are the subtleties of the art of not giving a fuck? Not giving a fuck doesn’t mean being indifferent to everything. Ultimately, we always choose to care about something. The key is finding something worthy of giving a fuck about. You should care about what matters in your life: family, friends, hobbies, work.

If you fret about superficial things, it means you don't have something more significant to give a fuck about. In this case, you should think about your values in life. Find what truly matters to you and commit to caring about that.