Relationship & parenting5 min read

Words of affirmation as a love language — showing affection with words

Love is inherent in every person, yet we can all express and perceive it in different ways. It’s not a bad thing; the key is to understand how you give love and how your loved ones do it. According to Gary Chapman's five love languages theory, there are some ways of expressing and perceiving love. In this article, we will focus on words of affirmation.

Words of affirmation as a love language — showing affection with words

If the main manifestation of love for you is the verbal expression, then your love language is undoubtedly words of affirmation. It means expressing feelings through words of approval and support. People for whom this love language is primary feel most loved when they hear positive statements about themselves. Of course, like any skill, words of affirmation can be developed and improved. Here are 7 tips on how to communicate better in a relationship.

Two people sitting on a wall by a river, enjoying the view and each other's company.

Give sincere compliments

Compliments from a loved one are something that can make a partner not only smile, but also realize how much they are appreciated. By giving sincere compliments, you show your ability to notice the little things. Compliments are one of the easiest ways to cheer your partner up and show your affection in love. To explore this topic deeper, you can read our summary of The 5 Love Languages.

“How incredible you look today!”, “This shade of lipstick really suits you,” “You read half a book in one day? That's great!” Most compliments don't require any special occasion or moment, they can be given at any time. The main thing is to be able to find and emphasize the right details with words.

The 5 Love Languages
15 min read

The 5 Love Languages

by Gary Chapman
Summary 10 chapters
Read on AdvanceMe

Support each other in difficult moments

Each of us has moments in our lives when we really need support. These situations can be related to problems at work, financial troubles, or friendship crises. However, if a person shares their feelings with others, it becomes easier for them to live through these situations and get better. However, it is also important to be a supportive friend for them in such moments.

Imagine your significant other has recently lost their job, which is definitely a big blow to them. You try to reassure your partner with words like “There are plenty of vacancies in the world, why are you so worried?” or “You've been complaining for months about not having enough time for yourself, so you can finally relax.” Will such support be effective? Probably not. So start by recognizing your partner's feelings.

Show empathy and sincere interest

To make your partner feel that their problems matter to you, it is essential to show empathy and sincere interest in communication. Empathy is not only about understanding but also about recognizing the other person's emotions. People good at empathy can often use phrases such as “I can see how that might have been difficult” or “It's only natural that you feel that way.”

Avoid phrases that devalue emotions, such as: “It's no big deal,” or "Why are you so worried? It's just a small thing." Even if they are well-intentioned, they sound like indifference. Instead, try to get why your partner feels the way they do, even if certain things would not cause you to feel the same way.

A couple holding hands across a table, sharing a moment of connection and intimacy.

Express gratitude for the little things

To show love, you don't have to do it with big gestures. Sometimes, small things can make someone’s day. It can be a cup of tea in the morning, a pressed shirt, or a clean workplace. But even such everyday rituals deserve gratitude. A simple “thank you” can be valuable to your partner and inspire them to show their love in the future.

Over time, we may forget to notice the little things or start to take them for granted. However, even in small things, a person can invest love and care. So the main thing is to pay attention and remember about giving thanks for what your loved one does for you every day.

Emphasize your partner's individuality

Everyone wants to feel unique, but for a person whose love language is words, recognizing their uniqueness is especially essential. Talk about what you admire about them: “You're always so creative with your diary design.” “Your taste in music is incredible!” or “I love that you care about animals and donate money to shelters.”

Such words show that you don't just love them, but that you notice the finer details — the traits that make your partner special. This creates a deeper emotional attachment because the person feels that they are truly seen, not in general terms, but in a concrete and personal way. You can even make it a habit to say one new sentence every week about what you value in your partner.

In a dark room, a man relaxes on a couch, surrounded by shadows and soft lighting.

Actively listen and respond

There is a difference between just listening to a person and actively listening and responding. In the first case, a person can only automatically listen to the other person, but not try to understand what that person is feeling. Active listening, on the other hand, implies your absolute involvement in the topic of the conversation and your willingness to help or give advice. What does active listening entail?

First of all, while listening to your partner, try to understand why this or that thing is important to them. Secondly, ask clarifying questions, and understand the details of a particular problem or topic. This way, you will show your partner that they are really significant to you and you are ready to get to know them better. To become a masterful communicator, read our summary of The Art of Communicating.

The Art of Communicating
14 min read

The Art of Communicating

by Thich Nhat Hanh
Summary 8 chapters
Read on AdvanceMe

Talk about your feelings out loud

Many of us have heard such phrases as "I'm happy with you," “You fill my life with joy and make it better,” or even a simple “I love you” are harder to say. The reason for this is that we may all have different love languages, and some of us are more comfortable expressing our love through actions or gifts. Nevertheless, it is critical for a partner whose love language is words of affirmation in relationships to hear how valuable and loved they are in your words.

There are so many possible ways to say “I love you”. It may feel unusual or even a little vulnerable, especially if you're not used to talking about your feelings. But the more you do it, the more natural it will sound, and the more your partner will feel truly loved. The main thing is to do it sincerely and at the moments you think are right for expressing your feelings.


Showing empathy, emphasizing the uniqueness of your loved one, and openly expressing your feelings are simple things that create a deep connection. If your partner's main form of love from a love language list is words of affirmation, our relationship advice will help you express your feelings. The main thing is to speak sincerely, listen carefully, and don't be afraid to be emotionally open. After all, it is in sincerity and attentiveness that true love is born.

Photo credits:

  1. Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash
  2. Photo by Adrian leung on Unsplash
  3. Photo by Luis Quintero from Pexels
  4. Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
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