Come as You Are
5.0
12 min

Come as You Are

by Emily Nagoski

Brief Summary

“Come as You Are” is a guide to finding our unique sexual personality and orgasms. This book explains how such things as pop culture, beauty standards, and stress can ruin our sexual lives and how important it is to love and accept our bodies.

Key points

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Key idea 1 of 8

Have you ever asked yourself why the male share of the population has nipples? As for women, it's easy to explain: they need nipples to feed babies. However, they seem to be useless for men. So, how come men have them?

To begin with, each person has the same main body parts, which can only be located differently. This is called homology. For example, being embryos, all of us, regardless of gender, have similar genital tissue. Actually, it is impossible to distinguish between boys and girls in the first six weeks of fetal development.

Genital parts are made of identical delicate tissue, which is very sensitive to stimulation. This is the explanation of why men have nipples: all human beings have similar main elements in the very beginning. Therefore, if the female body requires nipples, the male body gets them, too.

However, it is not only the male and female genital organs that differ from each other. In reality, there is a wide variety of female genitals, and all of them are natural and wonderful. In pornography, we usually see edited, so-called perfect vaginas with less noticeable lips or labia. It can deceive us into thinking something is wrong with one of our private parts.

You should keep in mind that all types of vaginas, regardless of color and size, are normal. Of course, if they don't afflict any pain. The same is true for the clitoris. There are many variations in its size.

01
Everyone has an individual sexual system, which consists of identical but, at the same time, unique parts
02
Our sexual personalities are different, which defines our needs
03
The context plays a crucial role in your sex experience, notably for women
04
Stress can spoil your experience in sex
05
Pop culture can destroy your sex life if you let it do so
06
The reaction of your sexual organs is not always equal to their arousal
07
Sex isn’t an instinct, so it’s okay not to want to have sex spontaneously
08
Final summary

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