No matter whether you grew up in a calm or harsh environment, it would still impact your life. The truth is that your community has shaped your reactions since childhood. It was a time when you weren’t aware enough to understand it.

Your current moody reactions are grounded on your previous experience. They aren’t a response to the moment you’re in at all. For instance, your parents may have disapproved of you instead of consoling you while crying. This situation may lead to aggression years after that. For example, 30 years later, you’re expressing your annoyance about the office being too hot. One of your colleagues asks you to stop complaining, and you suddenly feel resentful toward them.

There’s no difference in what your colleague had in mind, whether they meant something vicious or intended their statements to be humorous. What is important is that your actions didn’t depend on the coworker’s comments. Indeed, your response was caused by an unconscious conviction from childhood. These are deep, intense feelings. In that case, whining was considered something to be embarrassed of.

So, the first step in curing is finding the roots of your responses. The recovery process is the mind’s flow from a survival condition to a mindful or rational one. Next, admit that outside factors are not the core reason you react in a certain way. Try to let yourself experience all emotions without being controlled by them. This is the most essential aspect.

As soon as you feel the first emotional jump, think that this reaction is grounded in the past. Take a break, breathe a little, and calm down. When you cool it, try to view the situation impartially. Find your motifs by using a self-value. Treat yourself with curiosity. What was the foundation of your emotions? What do you strive for but can’t achieve?

For instance, you weren’t supported while crying in childhood. Maybe hugging would be much better than condemnation. Sometimes, we search for the things that were needed in the past. We often want to start again and alter our youth, family, or appearance.

The pressure between our world and our desires is the basis for our regular actions. Let’s set ourselves free. We’ll talk about it next.