Untangled
5.0
12 min

Untangled

by Lisa Damour PhD

Brief Summary

If your daughter has started dyeing her hair green, being mean to you, and taking an interest in boys, then welcome to "parenting a teenager" status! Prepare for a challenging time in your parenting life. It won't be easy, but the book “Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood” can provide valuable guidance.

Key points

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Key idea 1 of 9

All girls go through a period of becoming a young woman. It is not easy for both the child and her parents. The process of growing up has several stages. To begin with, around age 11, girls begin to seek isolation from the usual norms. This seclusion is a preparation for adulthood, when, partly consciously and partly unconsciously, the girl begins to search for herself.

You should not treat your daughter as a child who cannot and does not know how to do anything. When your little girl enters college and leaves home, don't become an overprotective parent who interferes with the independence of your offspring. This process is like learning to ride a bike. Of course, your daughter will fall and bump herself, but you don't have to stop her. Otherwise, she will never learn to ride. You can be the training wheels that will help her. And sooner or later, she will learn to ride without you. Regardless, now you have to navigate the world for your daughter, not be a burden to her.

Of course, teenagers can be rude. You should not turn a blind eye to this but also should not take offense and behave irrationally. Many people bring up the need for respect in parent-child communication. But politeness is something more tangible. Ensure your daughter is polite to you by encouraging her to use polite language. Use healthy communication with your daughter, explain your feelings to her, and let her know that you understand her. Build a new special bond with your no longer little girl while also setting boundaries.

Speaking of connection, many people do realize that they have lost contact with their child as they grow older. So why not set aside some quality time to spend with your teen? Watch movies, go for walks, and have dinner together. Help your girl improve her psychological health with your support. When a teenager knows her parents are always on her side, her academic success and mental health improve.

01
Let your teen daughter be a teen
02
Support the desire to fit in while encouraging her to stay true to herself
03
Make socialization easier for your daughter
04
Help your child accept her emotions
05
Guide teenage girls by being fair, firm, and friendly
06
Encourage your daughters to be conscious of their future
07
Ease your daughter’s romantic struggle
08
Prepare the ground to teach your daughter self-care
09
Final summary

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