The problem lies in people not dedicating time to refine it, making it easier to think that someone else is lucky to have it while they do not. Creating a new habit is a long process that requires time, desire, and discipline. It's akin to exercising, where it's hard to motivate oneself to start, but during the activity, one feels happy. So let's delve into how to form good habits so that you become one of those who succeed.
Change fixed thinking patterns
A fixed mindset makes you believe your skills are unchangeable. It leads you to stay in your comfort zone and focus on self-realization rather than achieving something new. While forming adequate self-assessment is crucial, difficulties arise when you feel obligated to succeed only because you consider yourself exceptional.
People with this mindset often feel an overwhelming urge for success. When they achieve it, they feel pride and superiority. However, the fundamental question beneath fixed thinking is, "If my worth depends solely on success, what will my identity be in the face of failure?" Thus, fearing being considered a failure themselves, people with this mindset try to save their self-esteem by making excuses or blaming others.
Stay focused
Many aspire to win the golden belt as the world's best boxer or to achieve success as a businessman. Setting such goals does not guarantee stable progress. What truly contributes to long-term change is focusing on creating effective systems. To better understand this process, divide habit formation into four stages: cue, craving, response, and reward.
Since habits are self-reinforcing, you can use this fact to your advantage. The cue signals your brain to take action, anticipating a reward. Once you receive this reward, a craving develops, leading to the integration of this new behavior into your personality and daily routine. Ultimately, this new habitual behavior brings long-term rewards that you desire.
Seek feedback on your actions
Don't expect that you’ll be surrounded only by those who praise you and agree with you. Actively seek constructive feedback and criticism throughout life. Making mistakes and listening to criticism can be painful and exhausting, yet don't see it as definitive. Instead, view it as a challenge to overcome.
Solving problems teaches you a lot. With such thinking, expanding horizons and progress take precedence over the immediate pursuit of perfection. Embrace the idea that self-improvement is possible, and as a result, you discover many more ways to self-realize. Learn more about how to obtain a growth mindset in our Mindset book summary.
Implement what you like most
The more attractive and enjoyable something is, the more likely it will become a stable habit. An effective technique to reinforce this positive feedback is temptation bundling. By combining a new habit with one of your favorite activities, you'll find it more appealing and be more inclined to stick to it.
To make desire more attractive, create an environment where your target is the norm. For example, join a photography club to create more visual content. Similarly, you can get rid of harmful habits by immersing yourself in a culture that doesn't support them. Avoiding interaction with chronic smokers can be beneficial if you want to quit smoking.
Don't seek the perfect approach
People may get stuck trying to find the perfect approach but never start acting. They may conduct extensive research and plan meticulously but never acquire the desired habits. Such an approach unnecessarily complicates the habit formation process and, most importantly, makes it as simple as possible.
To create a conducive environment, minimize friction associated with positive changes. To improve your physical fitness, consider visiting a gym near your workplace. Conversely, to get rid of a harmful habit, make the action inconvenient. If you want to stop playing video games when you return home from work, simply remove the batteries from your console to reduce temptation.
Track your progress
Use a calendar to mark off completed daily habits visually, reflecting your progress. At the end of the day, mark completed tasks, and you'll feel a sense of anticipation and great satisfaction. Moreover, having an accountability partner can create high motivation and encourage you.
An example of the functionality of this method is the grading system. Students are more likely to attend classes if attendance directly affects their grades. To learn more ways of habit formation, read the Atomic Habits summary. James Clear is the author of the best habits book, revealing practical strategies and teaching how to form beneficial habits, get rid of harmful ones, and master tiny behavior patterns leading to great results.
Get used to something new
Many believe that discipline is what fuels determination and persistence. However, discipline doesn’t have to be present in every aspect of your life. You can't constantly hold yourself back, and because of this, it's much more important to develop habits that benefit you. Essentially, beneficial habits are discipline gradually transformed into routine.
Studies show that it takes almost 66 days to get used to something new in your life. Your body and mind cannot adapt immediately. Therefore, don't give up on the first failed attempt, but continue to believe and make an effort. After reading The One Thing summary, you'll find answers to how the human mind and thinking are related to achieving what you desire.
Refine your habit gradually, taking small but confident steps. American writer and entrepreneur Jim Rohn wrote, "Success is a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day." So, be patient, believe in your strengths and dreams, and don't give up.
Credentials:
