No doubt, everyone has felt offended at least once. Whether it’s the feeling that your siblings get more love from your parents, a sense of injustice when someone gets the promotion you wanted, or a friend’s betrayal. Situations may be very different, but they still have something in common: all of these scenarios cause resentment.

If you don’t cope with it, this resentment will get worse and even affect other spheres of your life. It may deteriorate your physical and mental well-being, harm your relationships, and reduce productivity. Kerry Howells, the author, went through it herself. A young philosophy professor, Kerry, held long-lasting resentment against her mother. Eventually, it wrecked their relationship. Moreover, this resentment affected even her own parenthood.

One day, she put into practice what she had taught students in lectures: turning resentment into appreciation. Kerry wrote a letter to her mother, thanking her for life, friends, and the chance to become a mother herself.

After sending the letter, Kerry went to her mother’s house. They hugged each other and cried. The tension disappeared, and the relationship began to improve. Half a year later, Kerry’s mother passed away unexpectedly.

After that, Kerry revised her outlook on life and began to value everything she had. The author’s personal experience gave rise to her research on resentment and appreciation. Kerry concluded that the pain of the inability to access gratitude leads to growth.

When you feel resentful, it’s hard to take the first step. The practice of gratitude will help you gain confidence, disentangle complicated relationships, and show you how to avoid the negativity that conflict brings into your life.